09 May 2023

Great Copywriting: The Story of an Apple Pie

Digital Marketing

Every time we think about great copywriting, it is inevitable that some might find it “manipulative” or “grossly exaggerated”.

This is just perfectly normal. After all, some might think of the concept of “great copywriting” as “writing to sell people things they do not need”. Yet on a more positive side, great copywriting can be seen as a method of communicating to the masses how a particular brand can value-add and enrich their lives.

Great copywriters write a text to one person at a time. 🙂

The example of an apple pie.

Let’s say you want to sell an apple pie.

Img

Without great copywriting, or even copywriting at all, the consumer might not know how awesome your apple pie is.

“Where does the apple come from? How much work and dedication has gone into choosing the apple and oven-ing the pie? Is there a back-story to the apple pie recipe? How do you use this apple pie–can you buy it for a gift, or eat it as a convenient snack? How is this apple pie innovative? Can you make the pen-pineapple-apple-pen spoof out of this apple pie?”

So you see, there is a very important function to great copywriting, for they help a person appreciate the apple pie better.

Great copywriting: a template

It is here that we want to draw your attention to the template created by Ray Edwards, easily remembered by the abbreviation P.A.S.T.O.R.

This is what P.A.S.T.O.R stands for.

  • “P” is for PROBLEM
  • “A” is for AMPLIFY
  • “S” is for STORY and SOLUTION
  • “T” is for TRANSFORMATION and TESTIMONY
  • “O” is for OFFER
  • “R” is for RESPONSE

Before using this template, we have to remember positive intentions. That is, not to sell expired apple pies or force people who don’t like apple pie to buy it. Copywriting should be nurturing, not misleading, and it should communicate value and make it alluring for your consumer to buy your apple pie.

So let’s see how this P.A.S.T.O.R framework can be applied!

Case Study: P.A.S.T.O.R on Apple Pie.

Context: you are trying to sell an apple pie to someone who is hungry.

  • Problem: The person is hungry.
  • Amplify: He’s so hungry that he has no extra energy to do anything else.
  • Story and solution: So this person walks down the street, sees your apple pie shop. You invite him in, make an apple pie for him, and then he eats your apple pie.
  • Transformation and testimony: He has never eaten such an excellent pie before. And he’s so inspired now! So he went back to work happily and became way more productive!
  • Offer: Now, we offer 2 apple pies for the price of one!
  • Response: CLICK HERE TO BUY NOW.

The story of apple pie using this template.

“You look at your watch. 2PM. It’s a boring slow day.

“I’m hungry,” you thought. “Maybe I should go out to get some food.”

You step out of your office, craving for something sugary. The cold breeze blows in your face and you feel the stings. You shiver a little.

“Why am I so hungry! Woe is me. I don’t even have the energy to walk further, and it’s really a sucky day.”

Suddenly, a sweet whiff of fresh apples caught your senses. You look up and see the signboard in front of you saying “Apple Pie Store.” You’d never seen this promotional advertisement for apple pies before, so you entered the cafe.

“Hello! Do you want to try our apple pies? Come sit down, they’re freshly baked! It’d be done in 5 minutes!”

Attracted by the apple pie, you sat down. The owner made you a cup of hot cocoa and started a conversation with you about the cold, approaching, unforgiving winter.

“Oh the apple pie is done! We specially imported the apples from the Aoyama mountains in Japan, so please rest assured that it’d be really fresh and yummy!”

You bit into the apple pie–it is really crispy and great!

And you ate the apple pie. It was delicious! You smiled at the owner and handed him a $5 bill. “Keep the change, please!”

You walk happily back to your office after that healthy sugar rush and instantly become two times more productive and happy.

All your colleagues asked about your sudden boost in energy! Who could have attributed this to the yummy apple pies? This energy booster beats all forms of unhealthy candies or chocolates, and is so much more delicious than boring salads!

So my friend–Here’s my question to you today:

Wouldn’t you want to eat this apple pie?

The best part of this apple pie is that it has only a total of 120kcal. This is because the owners have made great effort to cut down on the sugars that go into this apple pie, and they use 100% organic ingredients. You can rest assured that even eating multiples of these apple pies would not make you fat!

And…Here’s the great news: we’re offering two of these apple pies at the price of one for a limited period of time. Trust us, you’d never regret this decision.

Call 035-123-4567 to order NOW– we are also offering free delivery for every $50 worth of apple pie purchased!”

Conclusion

Don’t fear copywriting – great copywriting is a win-win situation for your client and yourself!

And most accomplished copywriters have internalised a template or so while selling a product or a service: They tease, allure, and highlight the great benefits of a product they love and can attest to. So if you found the product or service, don’t be afraid to sell! Be proud of what you are endorsing, and let great copywriting communicate the magic!

Have Any Enquiries?

We're here to help!